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Saturday, April 21, 2012

The Road Less Travelled....Again

When we were children they showed us books of what it would be like...what it would be like when we were grown, what it would be like when we went abroad, what it would be like if we learned our sums and letters, what it would be like when we had money....and some of us believed it.

Until  we found out that most things are not in the books.  A book is usually an A5 size document, everything is captured to fit into it just so, there is not enough space to clutter in all of life´s realities so we are told the good stuff as children.  We grow, we still believe that only the good stuff should exist.  So we write our own books (or blogs) and edit out the clutter of our lives and so our lives go on.  But where do we leave the clutter?

In our heads, in our hearts and it pours out at every provocation.  Some through tears, like the Spanish girl yesterday...only a few questions about her ex-boyfriend and in tears she was.  I thought to myself ´I am not that soft, I can´t cry at the drop of a hat like her´.  True, but I have my own reactions as well, at the slightest provocation, the right provocation and a flood of emotion comes out.  Anger, bitterness, accusations, blame, fear....

Is it the person who is gifted at pushing my buttons? Or is it inevitable that they will push my buttons because they spend so much time with me in an environment where everybody else is a literal stranger?

I don´t know,  it is indeed the road less travelled.

Friday, April 13, 2012

The road less travelled

With age one sees things. A twelve year old has seen enough of homework to show less excitement at the prospect of going to school than a six year old whose hard work is to paint,  colour-in and play.  I am not old but I have seen enough of life to see that things are born, they grow and they face wear and tear.

Too much wear and tear they die, average wear and tear and they change, sometimes for the good and sometimes for worse.

As I grow and observe patterns in myself that I detested in the adults around me as a child; I grow to accept that I am changing.  It is discouraging most times but I have to dig within myself and find the reason to push on.  There is still plenty I have not seen and plenty I have not learned to give up trying.  People think the religious are weak minded, I think not.  It takes courage to realise we carry burdens and even more courage to acknowledge that someone we do not see lightens those burdens for us. Praise Him.