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Showing posts from 2010

Working with Grace

Good lesson to learn today that there will always be at least that one moment when there is no one else.  It's in those moments that character must shine.  It was a tough day indeed but I am glad that the people who presume to crush or shame others unprovoked, at the end of the day, are the spineless ones.  And also it's a day to learn that moms are special because for a period there are always there, no matter what. After we leave the bird nest though, it's in and out,that's when we learn to fight so that we are equipped to raise the next generation.

The English and their FIFA bid loss

What can I say? Well, at the expense of making humungously broad generations: 1.  For the English man who humiliated me as I applied for a visa with his, "What is that?  Your parent's bank account is it? Why that's a paltry sum of money it is!  You want make it through this application process you won't!' -----I say Yippee!  Now you know what it feels like when the 'big guns' look down their nose at you and say NO, You're not good enough yet this time! 2.  For my friends who were denied entry because:  'Where did they get so much money?  There's something funny about this?  They can't possible have such money, they won't make it into here, they won't.'  -----Here's to your money spent England! Now you know what it feels like to try your best and be swatted away like an annoying tropical fly. 3.  But to the nice immigration guy at Heathrow who let me in to customs briefly to give my sister the peanut butter she was cravi

Pipe dreams as Global Warming Logic

Eish!  Just had to change the channel when a 'well-educated-PhD-holding-Africanist-womanist-nature-conservationist-culturist-healer-' posited the solution to global warming.  She began well, talking about how our modern lifestyles are affecting nature's cycles and heightenning global warming.  She lost me though when the solution she offered included grain and food offerings to Mother Nature.  Simply put, grain and food offerings to ward off the potential catastrophe of such gigantic proportions measure in the tonnes.  That equals yet more forests cleared to cultivate yet more grain to not only surpass regular consumption needs, but to appease this deity.  Eh, looks like an instant recipe for MORE global warming disaster for me.  It's just as bad as the pipe dreams from overseas, that there will always be more- that you can eat all you want with no serious consequence on the environment....hogwash....speaking of hogs, how many acres does it take to feed one prize ho

You Es Ade: From the X People

A tattoo on my door, on my wall, on my note book I overhead my teacher is paid by you too. Does that mean you own me? I know I should be grateful Mama says a nice boy says ‘thank you’ She doesn’t know, I’m thankful but it helps not to be tattoed on my every piece of skin I’m over-whelmed, last year they told us we’d eat free porridge at school  I was so excited and then, I saw it again, your tattoo on the mealie sacks! Papa says I should work hard in school So that maybe you will employ me I will drive a car with your tattoo on its side He thinks that is so cool You’ll brand me for life My desk, my file, my car You Es Ade: From the X people I’ll have to make sure I hear them say, not to forget The biggest letters on all my tattoos I receive from you Should always be YOU ES ADE: From the X people I shouldn’t forget No I will not. No one else matters No one else helps me All is nothing It is all you, You Es Ade: From the X people Thank you You es Ade I’ll mak

The Malawi Bloat

Dont' judge me but by mere circumstance I'm watching Deuce Bigalow...(ewww) but yes, the actor (Rob Schneider) just mentioned the 'Malawi Bloat' (wonder if he knows how it go so named). Anyway, I never heard of it below and looked it up, and posted the link here.  Pepani nsomba.

On Matthew Parris and his comment on Africa and Missionaries

I had an itch every time I saw Matthew Parris quoted by missionaries as a stamp of approval for the work they do.  I was of the mind of getting to thinking what to write about this fella who is seemingly stuck between colonial-nostalgia and post-colonial shock.  His need for having something to say about Africa (with such limited lived experience here/limited personal encounters with diverse Africans on the longer term) is beyond me.  I suppose access to the global media has a way of making folks give an 'educated' opinion at every whim?? Search me. Anyway,  I came across (quite thankfully) these two blogs that wrote on the topic of Matthew Parris much better than I could ever hope to. Luckily there's a balance actually: the one link is written by an African and the other a Westerner. http://benbyerly.wordpress.com/2009/01/23/i-dont-need-god-but-those-africans-sure-do-on-matthew-parriss-popular-column/#comment-3908 http://wherehermadnessresides.blogspot.com/2009/01/i

My 2¢ on Florence (and Precious) Mhango

My respect for Scotland has in the past few months gone from low to zero. Sadly, while watching the Scottish blip at the Commonwealth festival yesterday I went as far as to mute the TV and wait for Indian festivities to come on again before continuing to watch the show. Scotland, not content to spawn over-zealous young Malawians (well, I have in mind one specific one) that have loudly disowned everything Malawian in themselves and seek to visit their new found zeal upon us in 2022 (or thereabouts); the Scots are now championing the misguided belief that Malawi is no longer safe for us women and girls. who forgot to send my dad the memo when I was 11 that it was my cultural duty to get married off. Well, whoever forgot to send that is 18 years late as I am still reserving my bony wedding finger for that round piece of metal. Apparently, the ministry of education didn't receive the memo that none of it's schools are up to scratch either, pity.  That memo is 46 years too late.

The Polka Dot Kerchief

It is strange how some of life’s best spiritual lessons come about in the humblest of ways. I was on my wayto church when at the corner I run into a renegade church member. You know one of those embarrassing moments when you turn a blind corner and bam! Someone you didn’t plan on meeting is right on your side of the road. So yes, she looked at me sideways and I looked at her sideway (she with an apologetic ‘don’t judge me I’m only going to other churches now until our church sorts out its mess’ look and I with a judgmental ‘you renegade! It’s because of you that people say our church is falling apart’ look. Needless to say I thought up many self-righteous things once I had passed her and shortly up the walk I noticed she had dropped a kerchief. I am eternally ashamed that I walked right past, glancing once over my shoulder once , noting she had taken the corner to right, I justified myself for not turning back. I went on to completely forget about it, after all, I had efficiently ‘ju

Why there are flies on kids faces

not to dispute the issue of poverty but come on. in a place where the air is humid, the sun is hot for quite a bit of the year (and yes we do have winter, if we didn't plants wouldn't shed their leaves, rest and bloom again, agh, never mind. Let's agree that there is no summer in the West if the argument stands that by virtue of us not having substantial snow we have no winter: simply put, the West does not have substantial Sun to qualify to have summers).  Anywho, humidity, heat and sticky porridge/ or fruit de jeur and toddler snot (crying induced): all this and you have a little one whose face is attracting flies.  Just think about it, what would living human facial skin with no festering wounds have that flies would be drawn to appart from the above. Grow up media, the 'fly faces' game is getting tired. cover the causes of WHY after decades of 'newsworthy'  digs why are the flies still there?

Thandi Ape

Yes, good to finally know my last name doesn't mean market as in DRC soko. It's now settled that the name means ape! How do you do? My name is Thandi Ape, it's still AyObA! Last night my father told me that he met a whole group of Soko's near Masvingo.  This puts an end to googling my last name and coming up with Japanese furniture stores. Refreshing to hear that we do exist, in larger groups outside of our tiny clan in Malawi.  Apparently, the Soko near Masvingo have the Shona totem of 'Manyuka' or is it 'Munyaka' (????) while-as we have the Ngoni 'Mafeni' totem in M-dubs.  Now I finally have something to say to all those non-edjamacated round here who insist on asking my opinion about Uncle Rob!  Zim is not so distant to moi anymore with them fellow Soko's living out there.  Here's to the Soko clan! Here's to Masvingo! pic: college ape, from Cliff Barakman's northamericanbigfoot.blogspot.com

Screamers Only

Sometimes we just need to scream. Explaining just doesn't cut it, thinking about it just doesn't cut it, talking about it just doesn't cut it. image: myspace/photobucket

A new flag: the dissolution of a plethora of memories

I pity myself for the fact that when significant things happen in Malawi, I just happen not to be there.  Perhaps I shouldn't pity myself because location does offer me some measure of objectivity.  So now, the flag has been changed. To others it's just a matter of the order of colours, the size/form of a galactical object and a few other nuance, not a big deal. For me, however, there are two things of lesser importance that I do in reaction: laugh it off by asking, now that there is a new flag, shall we finally say goodbye to the usage of mapolo a malayina to hang them on? I remember as a child observing with curiosity as the men of the black stripe on khaki dug holes whenever the red convertible came to town, they would dig a round hole yay wide and plonk in the painted white mapolo with fluttering flags at the top end. Ay, not sustainable to forest populations if you ask me.  The other reaction of lesser importance that comes and goes is, 'If I do claim I'm a Malaw

The Netherlands, Germany, Frisia and the case of the HIV dogs all in one week

It is good to be on a roller coaster. Several days ago I said goodbye to the Netherlands and the new discoveries I made there. I discovered, that among other things, Europe is vastly different from the US when it comes to the outlook of individual persons. The objectives of their systems both political and economical (and I have blogged about these systems several times over) overlap but individuals view the world differently, and they view themselves and their culture differently. It's good to have travelled to both places; US and Europe so as to compare elements of what we here in the Southern Hemisphere refer to as the West.  And for time spent there, dankuwel Orange!...and if you are reading this Folkert, here's to YOU! I said 'hello' to Germany a few days ago. Thanks to friends, I was able to see and taste a range of German culture. The experiences, I hope, will help colour this blog further in my processing of the world as I see it from this end of the globe. So

On Windmills and the Spanish Win

It was a great game, between the Netherlands and Spain. Too bad it didn't turn out into a victory for the Dutch. Congratulations to the Dutch for such an exciting performance, and too bad that my days as a lucky charm are over, me thinks. No room for superstition, except when it comes to certain sea animals. I miss the Orange excitement around here. I went to see a windmill yesterday, in Burdaard. Wow! those things aren't for making the scenery look pretty. 35 meters above ground and I was dusty from the grain and wood dust of the mill and saw-mill that form the production side of the wind mill. Amazing engineering, and this particular engineering was worked out before the 20th century!  Windmills aren't child's play, neither are they to be only wind sails mounted on high to generate power to the X times X amount. It was like being in an engine craft the size of high building.  Our own maize or saw-mills in Malawi do the job required of them koma tichepetse noise po

Pays-Bas

How does it feel to be below sea level?  I don't feel any different. Maybe if I take up running after the Jabulani ball I'd find out but for now it's good to take in the sights and sounds and meet people that ...live below sea level. I must say, I always took it for granted that everyone lived at or above sea level. Remembering feeling very clever in class as I listened very carefully to the teacher explain how many metres (there we go again with metric measurements!) above sea level our town was.  It was like the higher above sea level one is, I thought, the better it was for you. Well, doesn't seem like these people are any worse off, but mind!  I've only been here less than a week. Let's inspect them closely.... pic: wiki

Hallelujah on the Bus to Joburg

TV just doesn't come close to real life. I have been 'feeling it' from near the coast but finally travelled up to Joburg yesterday.  At first I didn't even realise that the bus was so full because of the football fans travelling to Joburg (who can blame me, they were not blowing vuvuzelas or wearing team colours as I see on TV).  Anyway, somewhere along the way I figured it out and managed to spot the Japanese fans at the rest stop that were heading to the coast for Saturday's game. Anywho, how was there a 'hallelujah' on the bus? Well, for one reason or the other, the dvd system wasn't working. So the driver downstairs, whether by habit or just chance, I don't know;  had a sermon playing in his driver's cabin. Our energetic stewardess kept openning the door to the cabin and we ended up catching most of the sermon even up in the top deck. Now, you know Christians are usually embarrassed to listen to sermons/pray/preach in public. I don't

Don't Give up Bafana Bafana

It was a disappointing game but as they say, not all days are Sundays.  Don't give up Bafana Bafana! Play hard, win hard.  Make history!  I didn't quite understand the red card decision given out to Khune.  Very controversial decision in my book. Am I being biased?  And then a penalty awarded to a player that was offside?  I am confused here.  Keep the spirit alive Green and Yellows! It's good to see flags fluttering on cars and the sea of yellow on football Fridays. Mooi to see the fantastic commercials on tv and those heard or radio.  Bafana keep the spirit alive!  Ke Nako! pic: kirstyroad.blogspot.com

It is HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow! I'm not even South African but I'm tearing up! I am so proud to be in South Africa as the World Cup starts. And a quarter of an hour into the first ever FIFA concert (and in the best place of all: SoWeTo!) all I can say is, JR says it all, "show them, here we go!" Make the circle bigger, bwalo likule Tchalosi! Ah, just missed the Black Eyed Peas' first song of the concert because of the commercials, this is why there should be a policy for cable tv for all! Big up to SABC, I watched the first SA democratic elections on SABC (I think it was CCV and TV1 then)....and the World Cup Rugby....and the African Nations Cup. MZANSI FO SHO ....that tonight's gonna be a good night.... let's watch this! image: viviennemackie.files.wordpress.com (ah, the image has runoft fr now) pic: News24.com (June 14 2010)

Mandela at the World Cup

We'd all like to see the Madiba attending the openning of the games. If he decides to go, I hope he'll be placed in a sound proof compartment, this is going to be, happily of course, the loudest World Cup ever. I got a vuvuzela, the old school kind( the 2 and half foot, blow till your cheeks pop kind) and now I'm so jealous of my neighbour. She got a teeny one with twice the blare. Really, twice the blare. Agh, I should have waited, it's always better to wait, a la 'good things come to those who wait.' Ah well, old school is good,original. Now what happened to Drogba and Ferdinand? Fractured elbow, injured knee. So they join Beckham as liason for their respective teams. Pepani. Zamina mina eh eh waka waka eh eh! Zamina mina zangalewa it's time for Africa, anawa ah ah! Not bad Shakira and Freshly Ground. Old song but never gets old. For those of you hearing it from Shakira and Freshly Groudn for the first time, look for a movie called Sudan. It's

...

:-) :-) pic: uk.reuters.com (June 14 2010)

The red and blue coat

Once there were two boys who were great friends, and they were determined to remain that way forever. When they grew up and got married, they built their houses facing one another. There was a small path that formed a border between their farms. One day, a trickster from the village decided to play a trick on them. He dressed himself in a two-color coat that was divided down the middle. So, one side of the coat was red, and the other side was blue. The trickster wore this coat and walked along the narrow path between the houses of the two friends. They were each working opposite each other in their fields. The trickster made enough noise as he passed them to make sure that each of them would look up and see him passing. At the end of the day, one friend said to the other, "Wasn't that a beautiful red coat that man was wearing today?" "No", the other replied. "It was a blue coat." "I saw the man clearly as he walked between us!" said

Comrades Marathon

With only a few days until the Comrades Marathon, I am almost persuaded to head to town and welcome the weary runners, take pictures and grab a piece of the action. I chuckle too as I remember my BIG DISGRACE. I once ran in a marathon too, sponsored by Milo in a tiny town called Mtuthama. That was years ago, after running for miles and being so far back (the very last probably)the so-called 'support' team drove close to us taunting my friend and I: 'come on, just get into the b****y truck. You are wasting everybody's time. (and then in the spirit of being professional, adding, 'of course it's your right to run'.) Of course we gave up, got into the truck and quit. I think we had gone way past the half-way mark and I was ELEVEN YEARS OLD. Looking back, the support staff weren't my problem, it was the house mistress. She proudly handed out awards to all in our hippo house 'who had finished the marathon'. so yours trully, probably the younges

South Africa 101 a letter to WGN-TV

Dear WGN-TV Chicago, With less than a month to the World Cup let me take it upon myself to show you where South Africa really is. You see, that continent south of you is South America. The World Cup will only take place on that continent in 2014, in a country called Brazil. This year, starting next month, the World Cup is taking place in South Africa. South Africa is located on the Southern most tip of the continent of Africa (hence the name 'South' 'Africa'). You know, where all those movies use dodgy rights to tell/sell the stories of icons found in South Africa e.g. Winnie Mandela etc. If you take your world map, it's located south of Europe which is to your east. Note to self: Now this is why I complain when Western countries report on African countries, if they can't place the said countries on the map, whatever next? Alas, whatever next?

It FINALLY Looks like a Saturday!

For the first time in a long time, a Saturday with absolutely nothing to do but enjoy Casting Crowns on a rainy day. How grand to have the only worry of the day being missing Jamie Oliver's cook show because of other leisurely activites like walking past the highway to the library (wish it was the Silverdale Library or a Barnes and Noble ;-) ). Ah, I'll enjoy this while it lasts, Monday looks dodgy I hope I won't have too much to write. Ignoring thinking about exams by the way. Good day to you Mr. Saturday!!!!! I hope you are enjoying YOUR rainy weather Folkert!!!!! <3 pic: www.matthewcase.wordpress.com

Africa Paradis

It's after 3 am and I chanced upon a very curious movie on late night TV. Hmmmm, I'll reserve my comments for until after years of digesting of this movie.Yes, past my coffee-induced, school assignment-fatigued experience of it right now. Errm, where'd they throw all the North Africans and non-Black South Africans though?.....curious.......Interesting concept........ grim as in I hope vengeance is not on the minds of many; rather, an alternate life-giving future.......hmmm....( I'm placing match sticks now to prop my eyelids a la Tom and Jerry)...... subtitles....hmmm.....OK, let me concentrate. Good food for thought for international legislatures in the immigration debate.... ok, concentrate.

Rudyard Kipling's 'The White Man's Burden', 1899

Alas, me dears, Rudyard Kipling had a point. Don't know if things are any different over a century later.....tiyeni kuntengo wa kachere tikafunsane. Rudyard Kipling, The White Man's Burden, 1899 Take up the White Man's burden-- Send forth the best ye breed-- Go bind your sons to exile To serve your captives' need; To wait in heavy harness, On fluttered folk and wild-- Your new-caught, sullen peoples, Half-devil and half-child. ....By open speech and simple, An hundred times made plain To seek another's profit, And work another's gain. .....And when your goal is nearest The end for others sought, Watch sloth and heathen Folly Bring all your hopes to nought. ...But toil of serf and sweeper-- The tale of common things. The ports ye shall not enter, The roads ye shall not tread Take up the White Man's burden-- And reap his old reward: The blame of those ye better, The hate of those ye guard-- The cry of hosts ye humour Take up the White Man's burden-- Ye da

I vow to thee my country

Spent quite a significant amount of time reminiscing when I happened upon a facebook page of my alma mater (first high school in a series of three). Granted I was a poor student then and was kicked out for a sorry report card, yet,the one year there indeed impressed upon my life quite a span of memories. Good to find echos of my memories from alumni on the face book group: Ecce Romani, Jardin Public, the Pavillion, the seamstresses, etc. I am most grateful to that experience, the friends that have lasted with me since then and the knowledge that has endured. However, in the spirit of good critiquing; my Religion and Governance instructor from here will be quite pleased to see me critiquing the hymn of my days there thus, just as some might use religion for self-serving gains; so can some use governance for their own ends. And yet, as students; we sung a hymn of such a strange allegiance. The first verse below, hmmm, nie? just follow the words in bold font. What in the world was the wri

Phyzix

I mentioned the Malawian hip-hop artist in a recent entry. Sample his music on his blog http://thephyzix.blogspot.com/. The kid has amazing talent!

Interesting Lobola conversation on TV

Family of older white guy : so how much are you expecting from us? Family of young black girl : 20 cows White guy : What? With all due respect i have to interject here. I have paid for the negotiation gifts to bring us to this point, I have offered to pay for the wedding, you know I will be there for her financially. Now I have to pay for 20 COWS? I didn't sighn up for this!!! Father of Black girl : You didn't sign up for this? You didn't sign up for this? My daughter is young, never been married, well behaved, can look after herself, has a post-grad education, works for herself, thinks for herself AND NOW COMES YOU AN OLD MAN, DO YOU THINK I SIGNED UP FOR THIS???? Family of older white guy : Okay, so how many cows are we talking again? You gotta admit, the dynamics in this conv. couldn't have been more hilarious!

Racists near and near

I used to worry about the opinions of racists nearby but realised that they have something I don't: hate, fear and an oversize lack of acknowledgment of their own limits; with no hope of a solution. Here's a theory: suppose they got their own planet, they'd still spend money importing cheap labour from planet earth and guess what colour that labour would be. and then sit around talking about, 'I just hate these...perhaps we should bring in guns just in case they...' Eish, I'd rather have me and not share in their self-created burdens, it's hard-work for them putting others down so that they can feel better, I'm sorry for the self-induced pain that their 'hard-work' brings.

Russell Peters and his jokes on Africa

I debated whether this topic necessitates an entry or not. Apparently it does. However, since I give a prejudiced take on this, let it be known that I only make this opinion after only one viewing of Russell Peters and random googling afterwards (and googling biased to my own opinion. So perhaps only a few words would suffice: I'd say there are bits of Russell Simmon's repertoire or whatever it is called that are funny. However, I was at first pretty annoyed that all this guy seems to know about Africa and it's peoples (outside of South Africa) is clicks (which themselves are funny enough, agh, never mind, I'll give it away); spear-wielding people speaking gibberish and endowment factors of the male populations. It's actually quite distracting the ignorance I forgot to laugh but then I should be comforted enough, thanks to James Scott that our transcript remains as it should be for now, so obscure that it's still funny for people like him to highlight antiquat

A Childhood Game called Monday

That had to be the best game ever invented, it was a game all new students were taught soon after signing up at ZPPS. I wonder if anyone plays it there or anywhere else. I heard kids were banned from playing it after a major accident but come on, they see worse on the rugby fields. Here is how it goes: 1. Students locate the widest flight of stairs which has at least 8 steps 2. One student, the Caller, is nominated and s/he stands at the foot of the stairs facing the rest of the players 3. The players (minimum 2, maximum 8+)stand in a neat lengthways single file row on the 8th step 4. The 7 steps in front of the players are Monday, Tuesday etc. in that order 5.The objective is to get players to jump to the step that corresponds with the day called out: i.e. MONDAY = players jump to step 1; THURSDAY = players skip to step 4. The Caller will call out forward days or backward days so you can expect to skip multiple steps both downwards and upwards. If you have short legs or carry a few

Pocket Sunshine

If you are like me and you tend to be forever entangled with dominant personalities and your facebook home page is saturated with LOUD dialogues that rub you the wrong way: here are two things you can do 1. Smile, it's free. other people's opinions are just that, their own. do what you can to make a difference. 2. there is a block option on facebook, tee hee heee

Rev. Prof. Steve de Gruchy

My mind goes back to December 17, Lilongwe, Malawi. I ran into Anesa, the wife of Prof. de Gruchy's former student Kelvin Kalonga. She asked me what I'm up to nowadays and I told her I'm a student at the University of KwaZulu Natal, studying Theology and Development. Her face lit up, 'Ah, you are with Steve de Gruchy!' I had to ask her if she'd met him in person; to which she responded that no, she had never met him but he'd made such an impression on her husband that it felt like she knew him herself. Anesa and Kelvin have a daughter, Shalom. I asked if that name came from Prof. Steve's lectures on themes of liberation. 'Yes!' she said. Obviously. Everyone who knew Steve de Gruchy had a story, a good story about him. I myself was selfish. While others learned from this gifted professor and sat under his pastoral counsel, I employed my strategy of 'avoiding to be a groupie'. Only now do I realise that no one was a groupie, a wise person

Chocolatah....

I'm happy the heat wave is here. 30+ degrees celcius is no fun but if you get free chocolates because they melted........there's always a freezer!!!! Yeah, I'll have the heat if it means free (melted) chocolates. and it's good to confirm it, there ARE Ice Cream trucks here. I heard the music a while ago and wasn't sure, didn't want to be too optimistic. But, saw one yesterday with my own two eyes, dare I say the Ice Cream Man even looked Italian. Too bad I live on the highway, the Ice Cream man don't come dis way.........at least I get free melted chocolates........:-) Happy Days!

Is it about Black Babies?

Eh, I gave my word that I would shut up about this business of carrying off Black babies from Africa to America. For whatever 'it's good for the child' reason. So I think I'm keeping my promise by talking about the Caribbean Islands. Eish, I'm thrice affected, I'm a Baptist, a former resident of Boise, Idaho and a former Black child (I'm a Black woman now, ahem). So it hits me hard that Baptist missionaries from that area don't know from a book; since when don't people not know how to read, Eh? IT IS NOT ONLY AMERICA THAT HAS LAWS SO FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, IF YOU WANT YOUR VERY OWN LITTLE CUTE BLACK CHILD WHOSE FUTURE YOU CAN FIX; REMEMBER, FOLLOW THE LAWS! UNLESS OF COURSE, YOU ARE A CELEBRITY, SOME GIVE CELEBRITIES THE BABIES FOR FREE. So, it seems the journey continues, every which way, Blacks must continue be taken to the West it seems.......sigh!

It's not my FAULT and the trumpeters in Haiti

There comes a time in life when one has to realise one can't keep apologising for everything. This time, that one is yours truly. So get this, whatever it is IT'S NOT MY FAULT. Now, on to a serious note, would someone stop blowing their own horn and just HELP THE PEOPLE!..... scratch that, it's plain and clear whose motive is what in Haiti. Ever heard of, never mind. Pitiable people cashing in on the plight of others.

When Women Vye for 20% Males, it's that X factor thing.

The benefit of being over the mid-twenties bridge is having a few more morsels of wisdom than the younger folk. Yearp, finally agree, any way you look at it: popular guys don't necessarily make Mr. Right. Sadly, we all grow up dreaming of the proverbial Prince Charming, the veritable dream guy. Only one mistake we make, we look on the outside. I once heard and embellished a statement that went thus: '(Christian)Women dream of a man who looks like Brad Pitt (or Morris Chestnut as far as 'bruthas' come), has the spirituality of Billy Graham and the smooth voice of Ne-Yo, and has all the c's to boot (cash, car, cottage-by-the-sea etc. To borrow from the 'why did i get married' movie; the 20% concept as I interpret it seems to be true; 'woman meets good guy but he's missing the 'X' factor, she spends years looking for the 'X' factor. Society tells her the 'X' factor is that polished all-round fabulousness a la 'he knows exactl